16 things all beginner runners know to be true

funny running meme

After seeing this listicle on Women’s Health and understanding none of it, I thought I’d remix “16 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re A Runner”….for beginners.

1. You are no longer fazed by getting lapped by everyone at the park, including elderly dogs and small children.

beginner runner truths 5

2. The only gadget you own is the free version of MapMyRun, and occasionally feel like you’re being taunted when it says “TIME: 15 MINUTES. DISTANCE: 1 MILE.”

3. You dream of breaking an 11-minute mile.

4. “I definitely have been running for at least 20 minutes.” *Looks at watch* “Oh cool, it’s been 45 seconds.”

beginner runner truths 1

5. Being out of breath is your new comfort zone.

6. You have a recurring nightmare of being last to finish the 5k you’re aiming for.

7. When an acquaintance invites you to run with them and you don’t know how fast they are…..

beginner runner truths 6

8. You cannot begin to fathom how you could possibly run so much you lose a toenail.

9. You are still chasing the illusive fantasy of “runner’s high.”

beginner runner truths 2

10. You click on an article about “short runs,” only to realize they are still talking about a longer distance than you can even imagine walking.

11. Walk/run game STRONG.

12. You have discovered the wonders of not wearing any underwear with your running shorts…and never run long enough to encounter a reason not to (is pooping your pants REALLY that big of an issue??)

beginner runner truths 3

13. You’ve learned a new definition for “dirty” laundry. #whyiseverythingsowet

14. Your top speed is considered the warm-up “jog” at the running clinic you attend.

15. You can’t touch your toes…but dream of one day doing so.

beginner runner truths 4

16. And last but not least…you don’t understand half of the things serious runners talk about.

Published by Laura Cardon

Laura Cardon moved to Colorado as an adult and quickly realized how difficult it was to get started exploring the outdoors in a state full of experts. She founded Outdoor Beginner in 2014 to fill the gap in beginner-friendly content for camping, hiking, skiing, and other outdoor activities. In addition to Outdoor Beginner, she coaches beginner trail runners and works at Runners Roost in Golden, Colorado, where she lives with her spouse and toddler.

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